This is a serious issue and lets us start by asking the right questions:
Why are Punishments Necessary?
We all want our children to become successful, but at the same time, we also want them to become good human beings. It is obvious that nobody wants their child to turn out to be an arrogant person or an anti-social element in society.
To raise a good human being, it is important to start imparting values in your child from a very tender age, while also eradicating bad behaviour. The team of PiggyRide suggests you start by teaching morals to your child and telling them that bad actions always have bad consequences.
However, when your child commits a mistake, you would definitely want to teach your child that certain actions are not permitted and there will be consequences for wrongdoings. This is where punishments become a handy tool for parents. If you feel that your child is behaving erratically and does not listen to you, the next best alternative is either to talk to your child and make them understand or you can improve their behaviour through punishments.
The punishments do not always need to be severe. Even a reprimand or a lecture is also considered a punishment. You don’t always have to be harsh while giving out punishment because sometimes even scolding your child can go a long way to alter the behaviour of a child.
According to B.F. Skinner (a celebrated behavioural psychologist), addition, subtraction, pleasure, and pain are all variables used to change behaviour if implemented strategically.
What is Meant by a Negative Punishment?
Suppose that your child loves to watch cartoons like Tom and Jerry. Now, if your child commits something naughty or unacceptable, you may lock all the cartoon channels for a specific time as a punishment. Now, stop your children from doing something they like or taking away a privilege until they mend their behaviour is termed as a negative punishment.
For example:
As a punishment for fighting with classmates or siblings, you may stop giving chocolates or treats for a week.
Dr. Rashmi Parmar, a psychiatrist with MindPath Care Centers, has pointed out, “I generally try not to label consequences as punishments as it attaches a negative connotation and offsets the learning objective you are trying to teach the child…” It is important for the parents to understand that they are punishing the child to improve or rectify their behaviour, and not to put them down. There is a very fine line between the two and mindful implementation makes all the difference, which brings us to another important question:
What to Consider While Giving a Punishment?
We are saying it again that the goal of punishments is to improve the behaviour of your child in the long run. Therefore, it is important to remember that for your punishment to be effective, you have to make them worthy of the mischief. The thumb rule of giving punishments is that the penalty should not exceed the crime.
It simply means that you should not punish your child for standing in the corner for an hour for something as trivial as talking back to you. At the same time, you must not let your child go with just a lecture for beating a classmate.
Moreover, every child is different and their punishments should be drafted accordingly. For example, you can’t ask a three-year-old to do 50 sit-ups. Similarly, a thirteen-year-old might not go away with standing in the corner.
The best way is to base the severity of the punishment on the action of your child.
What are the Examples of Negative Punishments We All Need to Avoid?
- Things that help children to positively manage their emotions like colouring, reading, etc. should not be taken away as punishment
- Dr. Parmar suggests that parents should not stop their children from attending rare or special occasions like a marriage or a birthday party
- Parents should not take away things that children need in their day-to-day lives. This also includes their hobbies, sports, extracurricular, etc.
You can also enroll your child for online kids classes offered by PiggyRide to make productive use of their free time and to keep them busy enough that they do not have time for mischief.
